Happy Women's Brain Health Day!

Your Brain Is Your CEO, so let's talk about it!

Listen up. It's Women's Brain Health Day (December 2nd, yeah, I know you forgot), and I just went down a rabbit hole reading this article about brain books as this means a lot to me. And honestly? I'm peeved- we don't talk about this stuff more.

Here's what nobody tells you: two-thirds of people with dementia are women. Not half. TWO-THIRDS. And this a fact! I know this first-had  as when my Mom lived in her third place in two years (yes, this is our elderly system... that's a whole another blog post), the people who lived there were all females, except for five men or so.

So I'm breaking down this reading list (the stuff actual neuroscientists recommend).

THE BOOKS THAT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND (In a Good Way)

A Mindful Reading List for Women’s Brain Health Day... with Love to My Mom

1. The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat: Oliver Sacks

This neurologist wrote about people whose brains broke in wild ways. Like a guy who literally tried to lift his wife onto his head like a hat. Sounds bananas (pun intended), but here's the point: when your brain glitches, your life glitches in very specific ways.

2. Consciousness Explained: Daniel Dennett

Dennett (RIP) spent his career saying consciousness isn't magic. It's mechanics. Your brain's running parallel processes, not some mystical theater show.

For women who've been told we're "too emotional"? This book is ammunition. Our brains are running the same badass software. We just organize our files differently.

3. The Strange Order of Things: Antonio Damasio

Damasio flips Descartes on his head: "I feel, therefore I am." Feelings aren't fluff. They're the engine driving everything from science to why you lose it at doggies.

If you've ever been told to "stop being so emotional," read this. Your gut is literally wired to your brain via the vagus nerve. That instinct? It's data. Use it.

4. How Emotions Are Made: Lisa Feldman Barrett

Dr. Barrett drops this bomb: emotions aren't pre-installed. You don't just "have" anger. Your brain constructs it from past experiences, body sensations, and what's happening around you.

Why this matters: you can reconstruct that shit. Nervous about a presentation? Reframe it as excitement instead of terror. Your brain will literally build different pathways. I've tried it. Works about 70% of the time, which beats zero.

5. The Philosophical Baby: Alison Gopnik

Babies aren't dumb adults. They're R&D while we're stuck in production mode. The takeaway? Keep that 4-year-old curiosity alive. Learn something weird and useless. Take apart a clock. Learn Icelandic. Your neurons will literally grow new connections.

6. On Being Certain: Robert Burton

This neurologist asks why we feel right even when we're dead wrong. Answer: certainty is a feeling, not a fact. It's your brain saying, "Let's wrap this up, I'm tired."

For anyone dealing with imposter syndrome: that voice saying you don't belong? Faulty wiring. Nothing more.

7. The Echo Maker: Richard Powers

Fiction, but stay with me. Guy gets brain damage and thinks his sister is an imposter. It's about what happens when your rational brain disconnects from your emotional core.

Hit a little close for anyone who's felt numb doing stuff they "should" love? Yeah. Feelings aren't optional. They're the whole point.

8. Other Minds: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Octopuses evolved completely differently from us, with their own consciousness. Reading this stretches your brain like yoga.

The lesson? There's no "right" way to think. Your diffuse attention, your emotional memory, your collaboration style? That's not weakness. That's advanced evolutionary adaptation.

9. Klara and the Sun: Kazuo Ishiguro

A robot becoming conscious. Sounds sci-fi, but it's really about what makes us conscious. 

Spoiler: your actual self. And she needs protecting.

10. The Mind Electric: Pria Anand

Dr. Anand's new book about bizarre brain disorders (like people going blind without realizing it) and what it reveals about how we're all story-making machines.

Even when our brains break, we tell stories. That impulse survives trauma. That's hope, hardwired into your neurons.

OKAY BUT WHAT DO I ACTUALLY DO?

Reading's great. But your brain needs action too. Here's what actually matters:

THE FOUR THINGS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER

1. HORMONES AREN'T OPTIONAL

Estrogen protects your brain. When it drops (perimenopause, menopause), your neurons lose their bodyguard.

2. STRESS

Chronic stress literally shrinks your hippocampus (memory) and prefrontal cortex (decisions). That's chemistry, not character.

3. BUILD YOUR COGNITIVE SAVINGS ACCOUNT

"Cognitive reserve" is your buffer for when aging happens. More reserve = more protection.

Do this: Learn ONE new skill that's hard and useless. Piano. Guitar (Prince gives you some advice: "It's important kids learn to play the guitar." I think this applies to adults too: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/n_ohCvkpG4g). Mandarin. Harmonica. Woodworking. The struggle itself builds reserve. And call that friend. 

4. EXERCISE AND EAT REAL FOOD

A Nod to my Mom!

My mom walked her whole life and ate well. Walked into her third place (the first two retirement places had no idea how to take care of the elderly, although the monthly price tag was high. The second place put her on antisychotic drugs (said if she doesn't, you'll have to come and pick her up... threats). At least the third place, the long-term care facility's doctor, took her off everything and she went back to herself... before she declined. Until they stopped walking her. She swam the previous summer at her cottage. And kaboom. She starts falling (received calls everyday for that one). Walker. Then wheelchair. Then her leg was mysteriously broke. 🤔

Look, I watched this happen in real time. And it wasn't just her journey. Other people stopped walking too. Stopped talking.

And you know what they were serving? Processed crap, I mean food, I think. Beige liquified food on beige plates. Stuff that comes out of industrial kitchens and sits under heat lamps.

We were that family. The ones who showed up three times a week. Made friends with the staff. Brought in home-cooked meals. And still, there was no communication. None.

I started telling the staff at Christmas 2024: just feed my mother fruit. That's it. Fresh fruit. It took six months to make that happen. SIX MONTHS for fruit.

You know what finally got through? A young nurse got a UTI (bladder infection) and suddenly she said, "Danna, I know what you're going through and gave me a hug." Because she felt it herself. That's what it took for one person to understand.

My mom kept getting UTIs until she passed in January of this year. I received phone calls from the staff all hours of the day for every reason throughout the last years of her life. On New Year's Eve at 11:40 pm December 2024, and then again at 12:00 am on January first, 2025.

That generation lived this long because they ate real food. They had gardens. They knew what a tomato tasted like when it came off the vine that morning. 

And now we stick them in facilities and feed them "that food." No wonder nobody gets better when sick. Then we act shocked when their brains and bodies shut down.

When I brought her real food, she perked up, she spoke. One time, I pushed her in the tv room when we left and she said "There she is!" She was looking at the tv with Lucille Ball on it. The comedian who made us laugh and she still does. My mom also liked Mr Bean as that was always on the tv in that sweat box of a lounge.

What you can do right now:

• If you have a parent in a care facility, advocate. Bring fresh food. Document what they're actually eating. Push back on the "they won't eat it" excuse. And when they claim "they'll choke on solid food," push back harder. I brought my mom solid food until the day she died. She didn't choke. She ate.
• Dehydration mimics dementia symptoms. You know how many times I saw my mom dehydrated? Dried mouth, gasping for air. It was constant. The sad reality is that in private long-term care, they don't want to spend money on enough staff. You've got 28 residents and more than half need help eating (partly because of the food they're being fed). But there aren't enough staff to actually sit with people. So they don't want to fee them solid food, as drinking and pouring it down their throats is faster. And we call it "decline."
• For yourself: eat like your grandmother did.
• Move your body. Walk 30 minutes. This boosts BDNF. Literal fertilizer for your brain.

P.S. about donations: 

Happy Women's Brain Health Day!

Your Brain Is Your CEO, so let's talk about it!

Listen up. It's Women's Brain Health Day (December 2nd, yeah, I know you forgot), and I just went down a rabbit hole reading this article about brain books as this means a lot to me. And honestly? I'm peeved- we don't talk about this stuff more.

Here's what nobody tells you: two-thirds of people with dementia are women. Not half. TWO-THIRDS. And this a fact! I know this first-had  as when my Mom lived in her third place in two years (yes, this is our elderly system... that's a whole another blog post), the people who lived there were all females, except for five men or so.

So I'm breaking down this reading list (the stuff actual neuroscientists recommend).

THE BOOKS THAT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND (In a Good Way)

A Mindful Reading List for Women’s Brain Health Day... with Love to My Mom

1. The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat: Oliver Sacks

This neurologist wrote about people whose brains broke in wild ways. Like a guy who literally tried to lift his wife onto his head like a hat. Sounds bananas (pun intended), but here's the point: when your brain glitches, your life glitches in very specific ways.

2. Consciousness Explained: Daniel Dennett

Dennett (RIP) spent his career saying consciousness isn't magic. It's mechanics. Your brain's running parallel processes, not some mystical theater show.

For women who've been told we're "too emotional"? This book is ammunition. Our brains are running the same badass software. We just organize our files differently.

3. The Strange Order of Things: Antonio Damasio

Damasio flips Descartes on his head: "I feel, therefore I am." Feelings aren't fluff. They're the engine driving everything from science to why you lose it at doggies.

If you've ever been told to "stop being so emotional," read this. Your gut is literally wired to your brain via the vagus nerve. That instinct? It's data. Use it.

4. How Emotions Are Made: Lisa Feldman Barrett

Dr. Barrett drops this bomb: emotions aren't pre-installed. You don't just "have" anger. Your brain constructs it from past experiences, body sensations, and what's happening around you.

Why this matters: you can reconstruct that shit. Nervous about a presentation? Reframe it as excitement instead of terror. Your brain will literally build different pathways. I've tried it. Works about 70% of the time, which beats zero.

5. The Philosophical Baby: Alison Gopnik

Babies aren't dumb adults. They're R&D while we're stuck in production mode. The takeaway? Keep that 4-year-old curiosity alive. Learn something weird and useless. Take apart a clock. Learn Icelandic. Your neurons will literally grow new connections.

6. On Being Certain: Robert Burton

This neurologist asks why we feel right even when we're dead wrong. Answer: certainty is a feeling, not a fact. It's your brain saying, "Let's wrap this up, I'm tired."

For anyone dealing with imposter syndrome: that voice saying you don't belong? Faulty wiring. Nothing more.

7. The Echo Maker: Richard Powers

Fiction, but stay with me. Guy gets brain damage and thinks his sister is an imposter. It's about what happens when your rational brain disconnects from your emotional core.

Hit a little close for anyone who's felt numb doing stuff they "should" love? Yeah. Feelings aren't optional. They're the whole point.

8. Other Minds: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Octopuses evolved completely differently from us, with their own consciousness. Reading this stretches your brain like yoga.

The lesson? There's no "right" way to think. Your diffuse attention, your emotional memory, your collaboration style? That's not weakness. That's advanced evolutionary adaptation.

9. Klara and the Sun: Kazuo Ishiguro

A robot becoming conscious. Sounds sci-fi, but it's really about what makes us conscious. 

Spoiler: your actual self. And she needs protecting.

10. The Mind Electric: Pria Anand

Dr. Anand's new book about bizarre brain disorders (like people going blind without realizing it) and what it reveals about how we're all story-making machines.

Even when our brains break, we tell stories. That impulse survives trauma. That's hope, hardwired into your neurons.

OKAY BUT WHAT DO I ACTUALLY DO?

Reading's great. But your brain needs action too. Here's what actually matters:

THE FOUR THINGS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER

1. HORMONES 

Estrogen protects your brain. When it drops (perimenopause, menopause), your neurons lose their bodyguard.

2. STRESS

Chronic stress literally shrinks your hippocampus (memory) and prefrontal cortex (decisions). That's chemistry, not character.

3. BUILD YOUR COGNITIVE SAVINGS ACCOUNT

"Cognitive reserve" is your buffer for when aging happens. More reserve = more protection.

Do this: Learn ONE new skill that's hard and useless. Piano. Make Appeeling Banana bread. Guitar (Prince gives you some advice: "It's important kids learn to play the guitar." I think this applies to adults too: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/n_ohCvkpG4g). Mandarin. Harmonica. Woodworking. The struggle itself builds reserve. And call that friend. 

4. EXERCISE AND EAT REAL FOOD

A Nod to my Mom!

My mom walked her whole life. Walked into her third place (the first two retirement places had no idea how to take care of the elderly, although the monthly price tag was high. The second place put her on antipsychotic drugs). At least the third place, the long-term care facility's doctor, took her off everything and she went back to herself. Until they stopped walking her. She swam the previous summer at her cottage. And kaboom. She starts falling. Walker. Then wheelchair.

Look, I watched this happen in real time. And it wasn't just her journey. Other people stopped walking too. Stopped talking.

And you know what they were serving? Processed crap. Beige liquified food on beige plates. Stuff that comes out of industrial kitchens and sits under heat lamps.

We were that family. The ones who showed up three times a week. Made friends with the staff. Brought in home-cooked meals. And still, there was no communication. None.

I started telling the staff at Christmas 2024: just feed my mother fruit. That's it. Fresh fruit. It took six months to make that happen. SIX MONTHS for fruit.

You know what finally got through? A young nurse got a UTI (bladder infection) and suddenly she said, "Danna, I know what you're going through and gave me a hug." Because she felt it herself. That's what it took for one person to understand.

My mom kept getting UTIs until she passed in January of this year. I received phone calls from the staff all hours of the day for every reason throughout the last years of her life. On New Year's Eve at 11:40 pm December 2024, and then again at 12:00 am on January first, 2025.

That generation lived this long because they ate real food. They had gardens. They knew what a tomato tasted like when it came off the vine that morning. 

And now we stick them in facilities and feed them "that food." No wonder nobody gets better when sick. Then we act shocked when their brains and bodies shut down.

When I brought her real food, she perked up, she spoke. One time, I pushed her in the tv room when we left and she said "There she is!" She was looking at the tv with Lucille Ball on it. The comedian who made us laugh and she still does. My mom also liked Mr Bean as that was always on the tv in that sweat box of a lounge.

What you can do right now:

• If you have a parent in a care facility, advocate. Bring fresh food. Document what they're actually eating. Push back on the "they won't eat it" excuse. And when they claim "they'll choke on solid food," push back harder. I brought my mom solid food until the day she died. She didn't choke. She ate.
• Dehydration mimics dementia symptoms. You know how many times I saw my mom dehydrated? Dried mouth, gasping for air. It was constant. The sad reality is that in private long-term care, they don't want to spend money on enough staff. You've got 28 residents and more than half need help eating (partly because of the food they're being fed). But there aren't enough staff to actually sit with people. So they don't want to fee them solid food, as drinking and pouring it down their throats is faster. And we call it "decline."
• For yourself: eat like your grandmother did.
• Move your body. Walk 30 minutes. This boosts BDNF. Literal fertilizer for your brain.

P.S. about donations:

Happy Women's Brain Health Day!

Your Brain Is Your CEO, so let's talk about it!

Listen up. It's Women's Brain Health Day (December 2nd, yeah, I know you forgot), and I just went down a rabbit hole reading this article about brain books as this means a lot to me. And honestly? I'm peeved- we don't talk about this stuff more.

Here's what nobody tells you: two-thirds of people with dementia are women. Not half. TWO-THIRDS. And this a fact! I know this first-had  as when my Mom lived in her third place in two years (yes, this is our elderly system... that's a whole another blog post), the people who lived there were all females, except for five men or so.

So I'm breaking down this reading list (the stuff actual neuroscientists recommend).

THE BOOKS THAT'LL BLOW YOUR MIND (In a Good Way)

A Mindful Reading List for Women’s Brain Health Day... with Love to My Mom

1. The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat: Oliver Sacks

This neurologist wrote about people whose brains broke in wild ways. Like a guy who literally tried to lift his wife onto his head like a hat. Sounds bananas (pun intended), but here's the point: when your brain glitches, your life glitches in very specific ways.

2. Consciousness Explained: Daniel Dennett

Dennett (RIP) spent his career saying consciousness isn't magic. It's mechanics. Your brain's running parallel processes, not some mystical theater show.

For women who've been told we're "too emotional"? This book is ammunition. Our brains are running the same badass software. We just organize our files differently.

3. The Strange Order of Things: Antonio Damasio

Damasio flips Descartes on his head: "I feel, therefore I am." Feelings aren't fluff. They're the engine driving everything from science to why you lose it at doggies.

If you've ever been told to "stop being so emotional," read this. Your gut is literally wired to your brain via the vagus nerve. That instinct? It's data. Use it.

4. How Emotions Are Made: Lisa Feldman Barrett

Dr. Barrett drops this bomb: emotions aren't pre-installed. You don't just "have" anger. Your brain constructs it from past experiences, body sensations, and what's happening around you.

Why this matters: you can reconstruct that shit. Nervous about a presentation? Reframe it as excitement instead of terror. Your brain will literally build different pathways. I've tried it. Works about 70% of the time, which beats zero.

5. The Philosophical Baby: Alison Gopnik

Babies aren't dumb adults. They're R&D while we're stuck in production mode. The takeaway? Keep that 4-year-old curiosity alive. Learn something weird and useless. Take apart a clock. Learn Icelandic. Your neurons will literally grow new connections.

6. On Being Certain: Robert Burton

This neurologist asks why we feel right even when we're dead wrong. Answer: certainty is a feeling, not a fact. It's your brain saying, "Let's wrap this up, I'm tired."

For anyone dealing with imposter syndrome: that voice saying you don't belong? Faulty wiring. Nothing more.

7. The Echo Maker: Richard Powers

Fiction, but stay with me. Guy gets brain damage and thinks his sister is an imposter. It's about what happens when your rational brain disconnects from your emotional core.

Hit a little close for anyone who's felt numb doing stuff they "should" love? Yeah. Feelings aren't optional. They're the whole point.

8. Other Minds: Peter Godfrey-Smith

Octopuses evolved completely differently from us, with their own consciousness. Reading this stretches your brain like yoga.

The lesson? There's no "right" way to think. Your diffuse attention, your emotional memory, your collaboration style? That's not weakness. That's advanced evolutionary adaptation.

9. Klara and the Sun: Kazuo Ishiguro

A robot becoming conscious. Sounds sci-fi, but it's really about what makes us conscious. 

Spoiler: your actual self. And she needs protecting.

10. The Mind Electric: Pria Anand

Dr. Anand's new book about bizarre brain disorders (like people going blind without realizing it) and what it reveals about how we're all story-making machines.

Even when our brains break, we tell stories. That impulse survives trauma. That's hope, hardwired into your neurons.

OKAY BUT WHAT DO I ACTUALLY DO?

Reading's great. But your brain needs action too. Here's what actually matters:

THE FOUR THINGS THAT ACTUALLY MATTER

1. HORMONES AREN'T OPTIONAL

Estrogen protects your brain. When it drops (perimenopause, menopause), your neurons lose their bodyguard.

2. STRESS

Chronic stress literally shrinks your hippocampus (memory) and prefrontal cortex (decisions). That's chemistry, not character.

3. BUILD YOUR COGNITIVE SAVINGS ACCOUNT

"Cognitive reserve" is your buffer for when aging happens. More reserve = more protection.

Do this: Learn ONE new skill that's hard and useless. Piano. Guitar (Prince gives you some advice: "It's important kids learn to play the guitar." I think this applies to adults too: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/n_ohCvkpG4g). Mandarin. Harmonica. Woodworking. The struggle itself builds reserve. And call that friend. 

4. EXERCISE AND EAT REAL FOOD

A Nod to my Mom!

My mom walked her whole life. Walked into her third place (the first two retirement places had no idea how to take care of the elderly, although the monthly price tag was high. The second place put her on antipsychotic drugs). At least the third place, the long-term care facility's doctor, took her off everything and she went back to herself. Until they stopped walking her. She swam the previous summer at her cottage. And kaboom. She starts falling. Walker. Then wheelchair.

Look, I watched this happen in real time. And it wasn't just her journey. Other people stopped walking too. Stopped talking.

And you know what they were serving? Processed crap. Beige liquified food on beige plates. Stuff that comes out of industrial kitchens and sits under heat lamps.

We were that family. The ones who showed up three times a week. Made friends with the staff. Brought in home-cooked meals. And still, there was no communication. None.

I started telling the staff at Christmas 2024: just feed my mother fruit. That's it. Fresh fruit. It took six months to make that happen. SIX MONTHS for fruit.

You know what finally got through? A young nurse got a UTI (bladder infection) and suddenly she said, "Danna, I know what you're going through and gave me a hug." Because she felt it herself. That's what it took for one person to understand.

My mom kept getting UTIs until she passed in January of this year. I received phone calls from the staff all hours of the day for every reason throughout the last years of her life. On New Year's Eve at 11:40 pm December 2024, and then again at 12:00 am on January first, 2025.

That generation lived this long because they ate real food. They had gardens. They knew what a tomato tasted like when it came off the vine that morning. 

And now we stick them in facilities and feed them "that food." No wonder nobody gets better when sick. Then we act shocked when their brains and bodies shut down.

When I brought her real food, she perked up, she spoke. One time, I pushed her in the tv room when we left and she said "There she is!" She was looking at the tv with Lucille Ball on it. The comedian who made us laugh and she still does. My mom also liked Mr Bean as that was always on the tv in that sweat box of a lounge.

What you can do right now:

• If you have a parent in a care facility, advocate. Bring fresh food. Document what they're actually eating. Push back on the "they won't eat it" excuse. And when they claim "they'll choke on solid food," push back harder. I brought my mom solid food until the day she died. She didn't choke. She ate.
• Dehydration mimics dementia symptoms. You know how many times I saw my mom dehydrated? Dried mouth, gasping for air. It was constant. The sad reality is that in private long-term care, they don't want to spend money on enough staff. You've got 28 residents and more than half need help eating (partly because of the food they're being fed). But there aren't enough staff to actually sit with people. So they don't want to fee them solid food, as drinking and pouring it down their throats is faster. And we call it "decline."
• For yourself: eat like your grandmother did.
• Move your body. Walk 30 minutes. This boosts BDNF. Literal fertilizer for your brain.

P.S. Is it ‘One person’s trash is another person’s treasure’… or stuff? My brain isn’t thinking right now, as I need 'food'. 😉 Spaghetti time. But honestly, I like stuff better!

If you're cleaning out and need 'stuff' picked up, The Kidney Foundation comes to you and takes it to Value Village. They get 100% of the proceeds. It's the easiest way to clear space and actually help people who need dialysis and transplants.

 Your future brain is counting on it.

Book list from Nautilus